JENNIFER'S BODY
Hell! It's a teenage girl.
I guess, I'm not excatly perfect myself.
But at least I have my fans.
I mean, I get letters every day.
Mostly from perverts and chesters, but still...
I'm kind of the shit.
Rec time started 5 minutes ago, Needy.
Grassy-ass, Raymundo.
Sometimes the letters are from people who say that they're praying for me.
They tell me everything will be okay...
..if I just accept Jesus Christ into my heart.
I say the words, but nothing ever happens.
Nobody comes back.
Nobody gets off the cross.
Welcome to the Mental Olympics.
They're big on recreation here.
Supposedly it help us vent our aggressions.
Personally, I think they're trying to wear us out.
Keep us sluggish, so there won't be an uprising.
Well, those J.V. tactics won't work aganist me.
I'm a kicker.
K-I-C-K-E-R.
It even says so on my chart.
Just one toastem, huh?
I like toastems.
Oh, that's good.
But I'm not sure toastem can provide sufficient energy during the day.
I recommend more complex carbohydrates...
Oh, Jesus!
I recommend you shut the fuck up.
Alright!
I wasn't always this cracked.
I used to be normal.
Well, as normal as any girl...
..under the influence of teenage hormones.
But after the killings began, I started to feel...
I don't know!
Loose around the edges or something.
Oh, God!
I hate this fucking song.
This is where it all went down.
'Devil's Kettle' sounds twisted, I know, but...
The place is just named after a waterfall.
Technically, it's not a normal waterfall.
It goes into this hole...
..and it doesn't come out.
The scientist guys dropped all kind of things down there...
..but nothing ever surfaces.
Maybe it's another dimension.
Or, you know, just really deep.
Just two months ago,
Me, Jennifer and my boyfriend Chip were completely normal people.
We were our yearbook pictures.
Nothing more, nothing less.
There's Jennifer.
Only back then, we were tight.
Sisters, pratically.
People find it hard to believe...
..that a babe like Jennifer would associate with a dork like me.
Sandbox love never dies.
You're totally lesbigay.
What? She's my best friend.
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You performed by Black Kids
I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl.
One! I'm biting my tongue.
Two! He's kissing on you.
Three!
Hey, Monistat. - What's up, Vagisil?
You and me are going out tonight.
Tonight, why?
Because Low Shoulder are playing at Melody Lane.
They're this indie rock band from the city,
I saw their MySpace page...
..and the lead singer's extra-a-a salty.
Plus, there will be lots of other salty morsels there for you.
Come on, Needy.
I promised Chip that I would hang out with him tonight.
Boo! Cross out Needy!
What time is the show?
I'll pick you up at 8.30.
My mom has a date with that guy who owns the ham store.
He seems nice.
Wear something cute, okay? - Okay.
"Little Lover's So Polite" performed by Silversun Pickups
'To wear something cute' meant something very specific in Jennifer-speak.
It meant like I couldn't look like a total zero.
But I couldn't upstage her either.
I could expose my stomach, but never my cleavage.
Tits were her trademark.
Those jeans are hella low, I can...
..almost see your front butt.
It's a rock show. I'm in my rock look.
Well, I can see like your womb, so...
I never even heard of Low Shoulder.
Which one is Jennifer stalking?
The lead singer.
Girls like her don't go out with drummers.
Thanks a lot.
No offense, I mean, she'd probaly make an exception...
..if you were like a drummer...
..who is also a singer. - Like, Phil Collins?
Who's Phil Collins?
Forget it. He's seminal, but whatever...
Anyway, this singer guy,
Jennifer says he's extra salty. So...
Salty?
'Salty' means beautiful.
Well, then you must be soy sauce, babe.
Jennifer's here. - How do you know?
Needy, quit tampooning yourself and get down here!
That's fucking weird.
I'd better hurry before she's gets into...
You always do what Jennifer tells you to do. - No, I don't.
It's just that I like the same things as she likes.
We have stuff in common, that's why we are B.F.F's.
You guys don't have anything in common.
Yeah, okay, joke.
Guess who's got the whip until 11.30?
A 2003 Chrysler Sebring and it's all mine.
Oh, Hi, Chip.
It smells like Thai food in here.
Have you guys been fucking?
You're gross. - No.
You're gross - You're so gross.
Fuck you!
Let's go to the club.
Melody Lane is not a club. It's a bar.
Frankly, it's not even a bar, it's like a bingo hall with tabs.
Eat my ass, Chip.
You're just jello because you're not invited.
I'm not jealous!
That place is disgusting. Everyone in there has a mustache.
You're totally jello!
You're lime green jello and you can't even admit it to yourself.
Stop kidnapping my girlfriend!
Your wish.
"Urgent" performed by Foreigner
Chip was right.
Melody Lane is definitely not a club.
Clubs are for attractive people in populous urban areas.
Clubs have DJ's and champagne.
All we have is a jukebox and a sticker toilet.
I cannot wait...
..until I'm old enough to get wasted.
Hi, Jennifer. You look very pretty.
What up, Craig.
He thinks he's cute enough for me.
And that's why he's in retard math.
Hey, it's Ahmet from India. The foreign exchange guy.
I wonder if he's circumcised.
I always wanted to try sea cucumber.
Jennifer Check!
You shouldn't poison yourself with that shit.
It's Roman here to arrest you, in possession.
You're here to arrest me?
You're not even out of the academy yet, Roman!
Two more months.
And I'm on the force for real.
Are you, eh, gonna cuff me?
Don't do that.
Okay, not here.
Hey, there's the band.
You can tell they're totally from the city.
Yeah, they wear eye liners, they look like a bunch of faygos.
You would think that, Roman, because you're small-time Gomer.
I wish we had more guys like that in Devil's Kettle.
All stylish and shit.
I think they need two groupies. - No, no, come on!
Don't be so J.V., Needy. They're just boys.
Morsels. We have all the power, don't you know that?
These things...
These are like smart bombs, okay?
You point them in the right direction and shit gets real.
Hi. - Hi.
Hi. Um, I just wanted to meet you...
..or something? I'm Jennifer Check.
And..this is my friend.
Hi.
I'm Nikolai, and this is...
..this is my band.
Low Shoulder.
Yeah, we heard..I heard of that band...
You play instruments really...
..super good.
Thank you, we're professionals.
Hey, sorry...
Can I ask yØu a question?
Why would you want to play all the way out here in the Devil's Kettle?
You live in city, right?
Yeah. But, you know what...
I think it's really important sometimes to try and connect with our fans in their...
..shitty areas too.
That's amazing.
Can I-Can I buy you a drink? - Sure, what are we having?
They have this really awesome 9/11 tribute shooter?
It's red, white and blue, but you have to drink it really fast...
..or it turns brownish. - Alright, I'll drink it fast.
Okay. - Okay.
I'll be right back.
Okay! How-how you're gonna get alcohol?
I'll just play hello titty with the bartender.
www.frendz4m.com
Dirk, what about her?
Who, Jan Brady?
No, man! Fuck you!
I'm talking about the one who just went to get me a drink...
..butter-face princess. That's the one.
I don't know! Seriously, I grew up in a town like this, okay...
..there's always that girl, if they show it off, they do not give it up.
You told us, you were from Brooklyn.
My point is, this girl's definitely a virgin. Okay?
Now, I know girls like that... - I don't know.
Well, you know, we didn't turn all the way out here for nothing.
So... - Excuse me.
Hey! - Hey!
That's my best friend you're talking about.
And you're right, she is a virgin,
And not be sleeping with creeps like you.
The second one isn't full enough.
Those guys are rank, Jen. Just forget about it.
You know what? I think the lead singer likes me.
Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
What?
I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman.
And by the way, that hurts.
I couldn't even go to flags the next day.
I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.
Oh, God!
Good evening, Devil's Lake. - Devil's Kettle.
You're absolutely right at it.
"Through the Trees" performed by Low Shoulder
All alone in an empty room,
Nothing left but the memories of when...
..I had my best friend.
I don't know how we ended up here,
I don't know but it's never been so clear,
We made a mistake, dear.
And I see...
..the broken glass in front of me.
I see...
..your shadow hanging over me.
And your face, I can see...
Through the trees,
I will find you.
I will heal the ruins left inside you,
Because I'm still here breathing now.
I'm still here breathing now.
Until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees.
I remember how we used to talk,
About the places we would go when...
..we were off.
And all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow,
And how you cried when you saw...
..the first leaves show.
Hey, get out of there.
I know where to go.
It's okay, okay, Jen.
Jennifer? - Oh, thank God, you guys are alright.
I have been looking everwhere for you two.
This sucks! It's too dangerous out here.
You want to head somewhere safer, like my van?
What?
I'm in survival mode, right now. I want us to get to a familiar place...
..and right now, I feel like that's my van.
Okay...
Okay, this will help with the shock. Great.
Are you shocked? Have some of that.
No.
Jennifer?
Hey!
Let's go, Jennifer.
Let's go to the van. - I want to go to your really cool van.
Needy, let's go see his van. - Why? Why should we?
We have the Sebring, let's just get out of here, please.
Needy, just stop it.
Just shut up!
I watched her get into that van and I knew something awful was going to happen.
He was skinny and twisted and evil...
..like this petrified tree I saw when I was kid.
Hey, Niedermeyer. - Thank God, you're there.
What wrong? - Jennifer's gone.
She ran off with that rock band. And Melody Lane burned down.
You're okay, right? - Yeah.
There was this huge stampede and...
All the people who fainted got run over.
And you could hear their bones breaking.
And the people...
Like..the people on fire just smelled like...
This is crazy. - But Jennifer's still with those creeps.
They took her in their spooky van with the windows all blacked out.
Did you get the make and model? - I don't know, Chip. An '89 Rapist.
She's still in there. We have to go find her.
Who cares about Jennifer and those douchebags...
..with their douchebag haircuts and their manskirts.
People just burned to death.
Oh, cheese and fries! There's somebody here.
I'm alone and I'm freaked out. - Where's your mom?
Swing shift.
Stay on the phone with me, okay?
Needy, you want me to come over? - I don't know.
Maybe.
Needy?
Chip, there's no one here.
So strange.
Maybe I'm going crazy.
Probably nothing.
Look, I'll call you later. - Okay.
Hi.
What happened?
Jen?
My mom got that at Boston market and...
Um, it's on your lips...
Jennifer...
Jennifer?
Are you scared?
Jennifer!
There's a body in here.
I heard Needy and Jennifer were there.
And they had to fight their way out with a machete.
Look, she's not even moving.
It's called post-traumatic stress disorder.
My Dad was in operation during freedom...
..and he totally like, stopped talking, like months.
I'll be Perfect Prom Barbie, and you be her.
Why I should be ugly Ashley?
What wrong, Jennifer?
Don't tell my mom about this. She'll make me get a shot.
I never tell on you.
Where's it at, Monistat?
You're alright. - Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
I saw last night in my house... - You do have a tendency to overeact.
You remember, when we were in Girl Scout camp...
..and you totally thought there was an earthquake...
..but it was just two guys with a ghetto blaster?
People died, Jennifer. It's like all over the news.
National news.
Anybody that we know?
We know everyone!
Sucks to be them, I guess.
What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you?
Besides the obvious surface flaws.
I knew it was real.
I'd been up all night scrubbing the carnage off the linoleum.
Shoot. - Please don't speak to yourself.
It's one of your more freakish Needy behaviors...
..and that makes us both look like total gaylords.
Eww, fuck, you need a mani bad.
You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.
This is a dark...
..dark day for Devil's Kettle.
And believe me, you. I have been through some...
..some pretty heavy stuff.
We lost 8..precious students...
..including, Ahmet, from India.
Several parents, and our beloved Spanish teacher,
..Ms. Erickson. - No way! Erickson ate shit?
Now more than ever, besides your teenage concerns about...
..who's the cool dude, or who's a hole.
We can't let that damn fire win.
They already won.
God bless you, kids.
No band practice today. - No anything today.
It's surreal, right?
I mean, when just one person dies in Devil's Kettle, it's like time stops.
I feel guilty just breathing.
Word.
Chip, I need to tell you something. Kind of weird.
It's about Jennifer. - What?
Well, you know how last night we were talking and someone came to my house.
Well, It was Jennifer!
I mean, she looked like, she'd been beaten up or shot or something.
And then she barfed up this like disgusting...
..prickly stuff that looked like a roadkill...
..and like sewing needles mixed together. - Yuck.
She'd probably just inhaled a whole bunch of smoke or something.
No, Chip! No, it was like...
It was like evil!
Needy, I think you might want to talk to the school shrink.
I'm not saying that to be a dillhole.
Yeah, but don't tell whoppers and I'm not crazy.
I didn't say you were crazy. It's just...
..everybody's a little messed up about this. And it's okay to feel...
Discombobulated? - Yeah! Fucked up!
Hi, needy. - Oh. Hi, Collin.
I heard you were there last night, in the fiery trenches.
Yeah.
I'm glad, you didn't die.
Thanks.
Seriously.
How are you friends with Colin Gray?
I thought Colin Gray only talked to the dead girls.
I just am.
We have composition together. He's a really good writer.
He's like all dark and emotional and stuff.
Well, I'm like that too, I mean, I can relate it.
I'm not all obvious about it like...
..a poseur.
Walk me home?
You got it, baby.
"Sacred Heart (Sacre Coeur)" performed by It Dies Today
Hi. - Hey.
Jennifer.
I'm crazy-sorry about your profound loss.
You're crying about Craig, right?
He was my best friend.
You know, I was there last night.
And I was probably the last person to talk to him.
Like, ever. - Wow!
You-You know what he said?
Craig said that he always thought that you and me...
..would make a totally banging couple.
Isn't that so weird?
He-He said banging?
Feel my heart, Jonas.
I think it's broken.
Mine too.
You come with me, just for a little while.
It's what Craig wØuld have wanted.
Yeah. - Yeah!
www.frendz4m.com
You're so warm..
Why are you so warm? - Shutties!
Jennifer.
Jen... - What?
Look.
They're waiting.
Uh, okay.
Do you miss Craig?
Of course.
Well, you're gonna see your buddy really soon.
What? You mean like in heaven someday?
Nope.
Oh, God!
Let it all out, kids.
"Teenagers" performed by Hayley Williams
You want some baloney, Specter?
And that was Low Shoulder...
..the local band who became the unlikely heroes of the tragedy...
..in Devil's Kettle last night.
Eyewitnesses say the boys helped numerous people escape the inferno,
..risking their own lives in the process.
That's rock n' roll with a conscience, ladies and gentlemen.
And guess what?
We're honoured to have Low Shoulder in the studio right now.
How are you guys holding up?
Maintaining, man.
It's not easy, but you know the real heroes...
..are people in Devil's Lake.
I just hope we can get their one tad of that courage...
..and spear it on our upcoming album.
Virgin Mother!
Crap. - You said it.
Hi, Mom.
I didn't know you were up.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I had another one of my night terrors.
Well, it's 4 o'clock.
So technically you had a day terror. - Hmm, right.
What did you dream about?
I dreamed some bad people who were trying to nail you to a tree...
..with hammers and..
..big stakes and shit.
Just like JC.
But I didn't let them get you.
Because I'm a hard-assed, Ford-tough mama bear.
I can take care of myself.
Now, you say that.
But one day you're gonna be crying out for me and I'm not gonna be there.
"Celestial Crown" performed by The Sword
..a terrific fire destroyed the popular local nightclub in Devil's Kettle last night.
Yeah? - I feel so scrumptious!
Goody for you.
You know, when you kiss your boyfriend for the first time...
..and it feels like your entire body is on vibrate.
Yeah.
It's that good.
Well, that's nice.
I'm little bit depressed about, you know,
..the giant smoldering funeral pyre in the middle of the town.
Move on dot org, Needy! It's over.
Life is too short to be mopping around about some white-trash pig roast.
That's sweet, Jen.
You know, I tell it like it is. And besides, you know what?
You should be happy for me, because I'm having the best days since like...
..Jesus invented the calendar.
Jesus didn't invent the calendar.
Whatever.
The other line, hold on. - So blow it off.
It will just be a min.
I'm crossing you out.
Hey!
I need to see you right now. - I can bearly hear you.
Because Camille is playing the piano.
Knock it off, Camille! - You knock it off!
Can you meet at McCullum in ten?
You knock it off, Chip! You're penis cheese!
Fifteen?
"New in Town" performed by Little Boots
I gotta go. - I'm a God.
Okay.
I gonna meet Chip at McCullum Park.
You know, Chip is looking really cute to me lately.
So tell me, is he like packing some serious pubic inhes?
What's the story down there?
I gotta go.
Why are the cops at your house? - They're not.
They're at Jonas Kozelle's house.
Why? He tried to sell fake papers to 8th graders again?
No, Needy, he was murdered.
What? - Yeah!
Someone ripped JØnas limb from limb in the woods behind the school.
Ate parts of him.
No one's supposed to know yet.
But my father just went over there and talked to the cops.
His mom is like catatonic.
She's just staring out the front window like a zombie mannequin robot statue.
This can't be a coincidence.
What you talking about, Needy? - A fiery death trap last night,
And now a cannibal psycho takes down the biggest guy in school, come on.
It's freaktarded.
Well, the bad luck's gotta be over, right?
I mean, it can't get any worse, right? It can't.
I mean, you agree, right?
You're shaking.
I'm cold.
It's very cold out here. - You want my hoodie?
"Through the Trees" performed by Low Shoulder
All alone in an empty room.
The days marched on as usual,
..but most of us were too numb to enjoy ourselves.
Most of us.
I don't know how we ended up here.
I don't know but it's never been so clear.
We made a mistake, dear.
To the rest of the world we were famous. We were saints.
Our town's only bar had burned to the ground.
And our star line-backer was someone's snack pack.
The whole country got a huge tragedy boner for Devil's Kettle.
And the press. oh, God!
They couldn't get enough of our little world of shit.
Through the trees.
I will find you.
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Because I'm still here breathing now.
I'm still here breathing now.
Until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees.
Still, we were healing.
Like Chip, we figured things could only get better.
We had faith.
We were fucking idiots.
Before the period ends, I would like to make an announcement.
As you all know, today is the one month anniversary of...
..the tragedy at Melody Lane,
..and the murder of Jonas Kozelle.
Boring.
As I was saying, Jennifer...
..and Needy.
I finally got some good news to share with all of you.
The members of the rock n' roll group Low Shoulder,
..have decided to extend a helping hand to our community.
As you all know, their song...
'Through the trees'
..has become our unofficial anthem of unity and healing.
And they have decided to release it as a benefit single.
3% of the profits will go to local families who have been affected by loss.
What about the other 97%?
I mean, that's just crass. Right?
Crass.
It means greedy. Exploitative. Scummy.
Low Shoulder are American heroes. - No, they're not.
I was there, Chastity.
They didn't helped anybody escape the fire.
I don't even know how that rumor all got started.
Rumor?
It's true!
It's on the Wikipedia.
We wouldn't even know who they were if they hadn't been playing that night.
They used by us. - You take that back, Needy Lesnicki!
Girls?
We need them now more than ever.
That's enough.
I'm already sick of that song. - Yeah, it's really poorly produced.
Could the bass be any lower in the mix? - No offense,
..but you really look tired.
Is everything, okay? - No.
I feel like bØo-bbo.
My skin is breaking out and my hair is dull and lifeless.
Oh, God.
It's like I'm one of the normal girls!
Are you PMS-ing or something?
PMS isn't real, Needy.
It was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.
Don't look at me like that.
It's just wearing off or something. - What's wearing off?
Hello, Needy.
Hi.
Jennifer.
Hey, Collin.
Can I borrow your English homework again?
I forgot to read Hamlet.
Is he gonna fuck his mom?
I don't..I don't... I don't think so.
I sort of wanted to ask you something.
You want to know if I'll go out with you? - No.
Yeah! What?
How-How did you know? - Just go ahead with the pitch.
Okay.
Well, we have been having a lot fun in the class, you and I,
..and I thought maybe you would like to go, see a movie...
..or something.
There's a midnight showing of Rocky Horror at the Bijou, next weekend.
I don't like boxing movies.
Yeah, but.. It's not a...
Fucking boxing movie.
Fuck it, okay. Forget it.
That was random.
I'm used to boys asking me out, Needy.
Collin's really nice.
He's into maggot-rock. He wears nail polish.
My dick is bigger than his. - Well, I think he is really cool.
You do? - Yeah.
Wait! Collin?
Why don't you just come by my place tonight?
I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It's about this girl who like, half-sushi.
I guess she has sex through her blowhole or something.
Okay.
Great! Yeah.
Okay, I'll text you my address.
Cool.
Hi. - Hi.
Hi, Chip.
Get a room.
So talking to your mysterious pal Collin Gray, again?
No.
He was asking Jennifer out on a date. - That's weird.
So, you're gonna come over tonight?
Sure. I'd like that.
I went to Super Target and picked up mØre condoms. So,
Thanks. - Not that that has anything to do with...
Oh, no. I didn't assume that.
Well, I'm...
Okay, I'll see you tonight then.
Okay.
For ambiance.
It's Jamming Jasmine.
My mom has holiday scents too, if you..?
No, this is nice.
In fact, I've made a career out of it.
I've always thought the left was your strongest side.
But when it comes to you, now I can't decide.
It's only a matter of...
"Time" performed by Cute Is What We Aim For
..of time.
"I Can See Clearly Now" performed by Screeching Weasel
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright, bright. Sun-Shiny day.
I think I can make it now, the rain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for.
It's gonna be a bright, bright. Sun-Shiny day.
242 camerford. Trn lft and your there. C-ya! Xoxo Jen.